I really need some advice on what to do. Also on how you think he really felt…I am 18 years old and have liked this guy for 8 years now. We were together on and off until about a year ago…when we got pretty serious. We broke up almost a year ago.He was my first love. No matter what I’m doing or who I am with… I can’t stop thinking about him. I still get really emotional about everything. He liked to play mind games with me after we broke up… when we would be around each other, he would act like he still liked me and wanted me… but then when he left me, he didn’t know who I was. About 2 weeks ago… I went to the place where I work one night… and he was waiting for me in the parking lot. I followed him back to his house to drop his little sister off. He kept hugging me and acting like his old self. After I left his house and was on the way home… we started text messaging each other. Basically I told him that I hate seeing him and I was never going to talk to him again. He asked me why and was it because of our past? I told him that it was and every time I see him… it hurts me more. I told him that I fell hard for him and that I’m still not over the breakup. He told me that he wasn’t either and he still loves me but the fact of loving somebody scares him to death.
I have gone on other dates with other guys and tried liking them… and NOBODY has compared to him yet.
Do you think he is just saying that to be nice and trying to keep me as a back up person? or you really think he means it? What should I do? Keep going for him or try my best to move on? I really need some opinions!

You hurt me
you bruised me
you made me cry
I can’t think whyyou said you love me
you said you needed me
but then you met her and left me

you left me hurt
you left me bruised
you left me bleeding inside
you beat up when I am down
you left me crying, and now I’m Dying.

You said I am ugly, you said I am fat
you called me these names
and then kept coming back
you treated me like dirt, like I wasn’t
any worth. You put me down, deep into the
ground
you made me feel so bad, and so sad

you physically beat me
you mentally hurt me
you cause loads of pain
damage and heart-ache
you disrespected me and know
I’ve lost my identity
you made me ill
you made me sick
you poisoned my mind
and that’s when you crossed the line

you scared me physically
you scared me mentally
I can’t see the good days
I can only see the bad ones.
Know I can happily say
that those days went away
I am happy.

The stars in the sky
makes me feel that you are always there
in the darkest part of my life…
When the breeze of the wind
always tell me that you love me.
When the rainbow appears, it sends a message
of love.

I just can’t believe that you and a part of my life,
with your eyes shining like a star.
When I try to say I Love You, I feel
like I’m in heaven. But all I wan’t to say
is I Love You.

You are a one of a kind person, you
are the girl who gives me the love that I
need, my heart is telling me that I should
love you more. For you are the one that change me,
you are the one who change in my life…
I can’t forget the feeling of being loved by a
girl who gives me all the colors that I need.

When you are there, I feel like my heart
is going crazy. Because of my love for you,
my life changed. There are more colors, more love.
It’s only you who lets me feel the love.

All of the colors in me and all of the different colors in
my life, I thank for all of the colors that you gave me…
Colors that you have given me will not be changed. ‘Cause
“I Love You” and colors will always be with me.

Time went so quickly
Now I try to remember all the days we spent together
And I cry for the memories I wish we could still make,
And I smile for the memories we made.
I held on too tightly and you packed up and went.
I wanted us too badly, My world was yours for 6 months,
When the 8th comes I’l think of you and the anniversary we once knew
I’ll think of you and say

Two days ago
You still loved me baby
Two days ago
You still needed me so
Two days ago
You still wanted me baby
Two days ago, before you let go.

The love you had turned so sharp.
Your words spiteful and filled with hate.
Your laugh echo’s in my mind and I remember how I cried,
Your emotionless face, saying it how to be this way,
Saying that you were going, going away.

You left me on the pavement crying,
Wanting to know why,
Then fate stepped in and placed your car right in front of me.
You looked up to see the girl you once called you angel broken.
For 3 seconds your eyes met mine,
But then you turned and with the green light drove into the night.

Two days ago
You still loved me baby
Two days ago
You still needed me so
Two days ago
You still wanted me baby
Two days ago, before you let go.
Two days ago
You still loved me baby
Two days ago
You still needed me so
Two days ago
You still wanted me baby.

Listen to what I say when I apologize for this
You loved me and I hurt you, now your love is what I miss
I miss the days when time stood still
When your thoughts were pure but your looks could kill
I miss the times when the days were long
When anything you said would never be wrong
I miss the moments that took my breath away
That kept me breathing for just another day
I miss the moonlit starry skies
That resounded with divine angel’s cries
I miss you and everything you are
And it pains me that I broke your heart
I’ll understand if you run to another place
If you don’t look back and forget my face
And I won’t follow for your will is you will
But I’ll stand forever and forever still
Breaking your heart is breaking mine too
And never forget that I will always love you

What it’s like to be in love.
A feeling in your heart that comes from above.
Love can make you weak or it can make you strong.
Love feels so right and does no wrong.Love can be forgiving if it’s strong and true.
Love can be rewarding when love comes to you.
So if you love someone hold them close and tight.
For love can last forever or be gone overnight.

It hurts to be in love with someone
who you realize doesn’t love you
it breaks your heart in two
You should have known better than to lead me onlead me to believe you cared all along
that’s bullsh*t
your bullsh*t!
Coming in and out of my life
Begging me back then just leaving
All the while I’d be grieving
I fooled myself by thinking you were just scared
Now I know you simply never cared
Now I feel empty inside
You’ve torn my pride
A broken heart I can’t hide
I was just there for when it was convenient for you
don’t you dare try and tell me that isn’t true
you’re not a man, to me just a boy
treating me like I’m you damn toy
All I got from you was neglect
F*ck you, you may still have my love
but you’ve lost my respect.

Mother,
Looking at me
Tell me what do you see?
Yes, I’ve lost my mind…
Daddy,
Looking at me
Will I ever be free?
Have I lost my mind?

Still I feel, that I have not said enough to you.
You know that I love you, so what else can I do.
I could write you poem after poem, of romantic words and bliss.
Words that describe me touching your skin, or giving you a simple kiss.But it still feels different inside, that I can say much more to you.
Describe all my feelings and heart ache, and describe my shades of blue.

The emotions I have, I confess to you only.
You are makeing me so happy, when with you I never feel lonely.
But I don’t want to stop you from haveing fun with your friends and other boys.
Just don’t cheat on me, or use me like small toys.

I have full trust in you, you tell me you don’t want to be away from me.
So I will trust that for now, thats why I let my feelings free.
I used to feel that life was just one huge riddle.
Falling in to spider webs, getting tangled up in the middle.

Feeling upset over the way my life was turned upside down.
Looking at my refelection, and all I sore was a constant frown.
Always thought that’s how life was, it was all normal to me.
Growing up in fear, move from place to place, many faces I would see.

Place down my friends, and move from town to town.
Messing up in school, becomeing the class clown.
I was bad back then but it was not my fault.
Was so full of anger, I could catch a lightning bolt.

But when I am with you, your presence brings me to my knees.
I feel so happy that I am alive now, I have found a dream that I believe.
To be with you forever, and just make you happy each day.
Hold your heart so close to me, never a moment when happyness goes grey.

You know I am the man for you, you can feel it deep within.
Loveing each other so much, words I can’t describe, so where can I begin.
So look to the stars and reach for the moon.
Our day of awakening is comeing very soon.

Written By John-Paul.

Love can either be hurtful or memorable. I myself used to believe that. Love is everlasting and is forever. If you wish on a shooting star, your love will be blessed by the one ‘above’. Then you are gone in a flash and you never came back. Time and time again, I say to myself that ‘you are going to be here with me’. Is forever gone? Does forever even exist?

I know I’m not perfect and never will.
I know I’m not what you want but I’m what I want.
I am one beautiful girl.
I just don’t know why you don’t want me.
Just tell me and I will fix that just for you and for me.
I want to be that girl for myself and for you.
I would kill to be that girl you want.
I want to be myself but I want to be that one for you.

Hand in mine, into your icy blues
And then I’d say to you we could take to the highway
With this trunk of ammunition too
I’d end my days with you in a hail of bullets
I’m trying, I’m trying
To let you know just how much you mean to me
And after all the things we put each other through and

I would drive on to the end with you
A liquor store or two keeps the gas tank full
And I feel like there’s nothing left to do
But prove myself to you and we’ll keep it running

But this time, I mean it
I’ll let you know just how much you mean to me
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of everything
I’m trying, I’m trying
To let you know how much you mean
As days fade, and nights grow
And we go cold

Until the end, until this p*ol of blood
Until this, I mean this, I mean this
Until the end of…

I’m trying, I’m trying
To let you know how much you mean
As days fade, and nights grow
And we go cold

But this time, we’ll show them
We’ll show them all how much we mean
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of every…

All we are, all we are
Is bullets I mean this
[x4]

As lead rains, will pass on through our phantoms
Forever, forever
Like scarecrows that fuel this flame we’re burning
Forever, and ever
Know how much I want to show you you’re the only one
Like a bed of roses there’s a dozen reasons in this gun

And as we’re falling down, and in this p*ol of blood
And as we’re touching hands, and as we’re falling down
And in this p*ol of blood, and as we’re falling down
I’ll see your eyes, and in this p*ol of blood
I’ll meet your eyes, I mean this forever