To begin with, maintaining good relationships is a lot of hard work. Nothing happens just by chance or by sheer good luck – no sir! You get out what you put in, and that’s a fact of life.

When you meet a new person who interests you, everything seems exciting and possible. You begin to get to know each other better, discover similar interests and the relationship progresses to a more comfortable plane, probably even begin to think of spending the rest of your lives together? But of course, this is no guarantee that you are going to be a happy couple for the rest of your lives.

The wildly exciting period generally comes to an end when the honeymoon is over. The couple settles to a period of calm, when there is a sense of latency, of maturity. This is likely to prove a little dangerous as you can grow too comfortable with each other, a point when each takes the other for granted and don’t feel the need to go all out to impress the partner. For such a couple, it soon becomes increasingly difficult to even converse together, or find exciting things to do together on weekends. Many mistake this to be a point of no return – when they feel that the spark is extinguished and it is time to end the boring relationship that is taking them nowhere. Nothing can be further from the truth.

What such couples do not realize is that the whole thing is not happening because of their incompatibility but it is because they are not putting in enough effort to keep the relationship going.

Communicate, communicate, communicate

So what is the key to a good relationship? The answer is simple – it is communication. Never play a passive role in the marriage. Let your spouse know if you have any doubts or concerns. In most cases, you will be surprised to find that he/she shares the same concerns as well! Not letting your spouse know what you feel is the most damaging thing you can do to spoil a relationship. There is no point in wishful thinking and sitting back expecting the problem to disappear on its own. Never hold back from communicating, especially if you have doubts about the relationship itself. Unless you discuss about the potential relationship glitches, how can you solve the problem?

Any discussion opens the way to solving the problem. This can cut both ways. It might lead to a better understanding or it may lead to a conviction that the marriage cannot survive and is better terminated. But one thing is definite. You will not be taken by surprise and the problem doesn’t fester and lead to unsolvable complications that will leave both partners hurt and confused.

You are your own person

See to it that you do not get totally into each other’s personality – retain your individuality and maintain your own interests in life. This way, you infuse fresh life to the relationship thereby preventing it from becoming stale and mundane. Whatever happens, never dissolve the “I” in a relationship totally to “we”, however great your life together may be. Learn to stand on your own feet and don’t get flustered and think that your “I” just cannot exist on its own without the “we”. Work on the relationship and make it work for you!