Let’s begin by stating the obvious – No marriage is perfect. Once we accept this fact, we can analyse the areas where there are visible shortfalls and try and rectify them as a first step to add fresh life to the marriage. There may be many things about our partner that we do not like, and these may be getting noticeably worse as the years roll by. Or may be just get magnified once the first flush and novelty dies down! Trying to change things, or simply putting them on a back burner, or even blanking out the problems will only serve to make the situation worse and even go out of control. Instead, here are a few tried and tested ways by which you can kindle the embers and revive a stale marriage.

One of the best ways to tackle this problem is to simply motivate your partner with praise. Instead of taking a negative stance, focus clearly on what you want – this will be by far the most effective method and likely to produce good results. Trying to point out mistakes and demanding a change in attitude will only worsen things. The reasons are obvious.

* No one likes to be told he/she is wrong. It is very difficult to accept that someone finds your behaviour wrong even if that someone is your spouse
* We tend to criticize vehemently when we are angry. When one is cornered, the person goes on the defensive and tends to lose balance.
* Instead, if you seek what you want, you are silently praising either yourself or your spouse for whatever is going on. The best motivator with which to encourage people is praise. Never forget to apply this to yourself too. Always acknowledge and praise yourself often for what you’ve done.
* Try not to express or think negative thoughts. This will only cause you to lose control and also the feeling of power. What you feel when you criticize your partner and what you feel when you give praise will tell you how powerful you feel in the latter situation.
* Always focus on the positive aspects of your marriage and you will automatically find yourself in a win-win situation where you will live in harmony and peace.