28th
March
2008
How to Break Up
posted in Breaking Up |
- Know for sure that you really do want to break up. If you are simply upset with your partner, you should consider talking about what upset you rather than ending the relationship.
- Before having “the talk” that ends the relationship, think about the reasons you are breaking up. Your partner will ask you why you want out, and you should be prepared with answers. If you have trouble remembering examples during emotional discussions or arguments, write your reasons down in advance.
- Plan out how long you are willing to spend “breaking up” and stick to your schedule. You may even want to arrange an appointment with a friend in a neutral location so that you can say “I’m supposed to meet John at the restaurant in fifteen minutes, so I have to go now.”
- Sit down with your partner and let him or her know that you need to have a serious talk. When asked “why?” or “about what?”, simply respond that you’ve decided to end the relationship.
- Expect your partner to do any or all of the following:
- Question — He or she will want to know why, and whether there was anything he or she could have done to prevent the breakup. Answer the questions as honestly as possible.
- Cry — The other person will likely be upset, and it will show. It is okay to comfort him or her, but don’t allow yourself to be manipulated into changing your decision.
- Argue — He or she may dispute anything you’ve said during the breakup, including examples you used in your reasons for breaking up. Don’t get dragged into a fight, and don’t split hairs. Let your partner know that arguing isn’t going to change your decision.
- Bargain/Beg — He or she may offer to change, or to do things differently in order to preserve the relationship. If the person didn’t change when you’ve discussed your problems in the past, it is too late to expect him or her to truly change now.
- Lash Out — Whether it’s as simple as saying “You’ll never find anyone as good as me” or as scary as saying “I’ll make you regret this”, he or she is usually just trying to make himself or herself feel better.
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on Friday, March 28th, 2008 at 2:53 pm and is filed under Breaking Up.
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