My husband and I have been married for four years; however, we have been separated for the past year. Approximately six months ago we decided we wanted to make things work between us because we do love each other and we want our kids to be happy. Things have been going smoothly for a while until the past month. This past month my husband has gone from acting like he loves me and cares for me to acting like I do not exist. We don’t talk anymore unless it is about the children and he thinks it is perfectly normal to sit in a room with me for endless hours without touching me or speaking to me. When I mention how this makes me feel, he tells me I am too emotional and I’m always making too much out of nothing. As a matter of fact he told me today I was too hateful and he hated having to deal with me. I am at the point where I can not keep going through this emotional roller coaster anymore. What should I do? -Is There Anything Left?

One of the key ingredients of a successful relationship is respect. Right now your relationship seems to be severely lacking in it. Something has obviously happened to change your husband’s opinion of you. If you are serious about repairing the relationship you need to determine where the change stemmed from.

It’s easy to get into the pattern of blaming the other person or their habits for problems in a relationship. But, let’s face it; the things he said probably hold enough truth for you to start looking inward at what’s wrong. Do a little soul-searching and see if you aren’t causing the problems instead of removing them. Are you expecting an “idealistic” relationship? Are you actually communicating what is wrong instead of blaming him for not doing something? Have you gone without attention for so long that even the slightest bit of “non-attention” feels wrong? You both have a past that, considering your year separation, is probably littered with unpleasant moments. Are you living your relationship at its current status or based on things that have happened in the past?

Honestly, I’m not sure this medium of advice giving can help you repair your relationship to the level it should be. If there is real love left, seek a guidance or church counselor to help you get past your issues and back to what’s important. I would also take seriously what your husband has said about your negativity and really see if there is some truth to what he’s saying. It is possible that your past years of unhappiness have left an image of nagging and negative emotions. Your roller coaster emotions may be self-inflicted.