I’m 26 and my boyfriend of the past year is 37. I’ve never felt the kind of connection to anyone as I have with him. We make each other laugh, we share all the same values and have the same views on all the core, important things in life. Despite the age difference, we have a lot in common and enjoy doing the same things in the time we spend together.

I can’t imagine not being with him and I know he’s the one…but when I look into our prospective future, our age difference scares me. By the time we have kids, he’ll be at least 40, which means he’ll be around 60 by the time they’re out of high school. Is that too old to start a family? And what about the fact that someday, when I’m 65 he’ll be 76. 65 doesn’t seem old, but he’ll be close to 80. Am I going to want to be out traveling and enjoying my retirement while he’s too old to?

Anyone else already found themselves in the future I’m describing and how do you feel about it/how happy are the two of you?

I love him more than I ever thought I could love anyone. I just wish he was younger.11 year difference…having kids at 40?

I’m in an incredibly loving and wonderful relationship (about 6 months) with someone 42 years old (he looks 35, although I look 23). While at my age this isn’t a big deal, to me I feel it. I tell you, this is the best relationship I’ve ever been in. I am attracted to him in every way, we have same things in common, so that’s not it. but I sense the difference (looking at hime). He is fit, but I see it in his face, and growing old scares me, esp. as I think about us having kids (he’d be at least 46, 47!)

another thing is: I live in the city, he lives in the a country-like suburbs. Since he’s already been married, he has a big house about an 1 hour and 15 from the city. While I could see myself moving there eventually, I still can’t see myself moving out there anytime in the next 3-4 years. I know it’s early, but we’re heading up on 6 months and need to evaluate our future. Are we just in diff places?

Also, the thought of ever moving into his ex wife’s home (whom he decorated with) irks me. I’t wouldn’t feel like mine, I’d never be on the deed (since it was his and now knows to get a prenup) and I feel like i’d be moving into a prefab life in the suburbs. Any thoughts. thanks!

…her age is 50 years old, but claims she looks like she’s in her 30’s. I’m 32 years old, leading a 20 year gap difference.

I’m keeping this secret and not letting my parents in on this, but in this matter I seriously doubt my judgement and think this is simply a case of hungry eyes and desperation gone wild:

This is how we differ:
- She’s a divorcee and has a couple of kids that have long moved out.
- I still live with my parents and am a virgin. (disclosed this to her)
- She seems to subscribe to the ‘Buddist phlisophy’ but doesn’t want to pigeonhole herself into any particular religion.
- I’m a born-again Christian with standards of only dating people in my same faith.

Here is how we are similar:
- We both like the same kid venues to go out on dates and are kids at heart and like the same sort of activities.
- We both would like to have a relationship I suppose.
- She likes the same sort of movies and is a deep thinker like I am, so we are similar on an intellectual level.

Here is why I think I’m desperate guy with a case of hungry eyes:

- Would I naturally choose to go out with a 50 year old woman if I had real solid options of yonger girls or those within my range? Answer: Not likely unless I was crazy.

- If I was alone with a girl or intimate before, would I have this naive attraction for being with anyone who is taking me on? Answer: Hopefully not unless I was crazy.

- I wouldn’t keep information from my parents unless I was proud of something. For some reason this is being kept quiet. That means something isn’t right. However I’m just posting about it here.

Question # 1: Am I in my right mind to have set-up a coffee date?

Possibly — a coffee date doesn’t mean anything. However, taking that step raises alarm bells that I’m slowly being taken into something that previously would have been something I would not have touched with a ten-foot pole.

Question #2: Should I disclose this to my parents? Tell my mom about this, blow the lid on it so to speak.

Question #3: Maybe it’s a good deal and I’m just making a decision:
- I have someone to take to specific destinations for fun.
- She’s getting something from it since she may feel yonger with me, and I”m getting something from it because I have someone to take out to certain places, and this may be a nice chance of having some real experiences rather than plastic ones.
- I cant find someone in my own age range or yonger possibly because I don’t have my act together and am a momma’s boy, this woman doesn’t seem to care about that.

I guess I’m a bit confused and would like to see what other people think, if I’m making a good judgement, or if I’m just too desperate to even make good judgements anymore of who I’m choosing to meet or date….her age is 50 years old, but claims she looks like she’s in her 30’s. I’m 32 years old, leading a 20 year gap difference.

I’m keeping this secret and not letting my parents in on this, but in this matter I seriously doubt my judgement and think this is simply a case of hungry eyes and desperation gone wild:

This is how we differ:
- She’s a divorcee and has a couple of kids that have long moved out.
- I still live with my parents and am a virgin. (disclosed this to her)
- She seems to subscribe to the ‘Buddist phlisophy’ but doesn’t want to pigeonhole herself into any particular religion.
- I’m a born-again Christian with standards of only dating people in my same faith.

Here is how we are similar:
- We both like the same kid venues to go out on dates and are kids at heart and like the same sort of activities.
- We both would like to have a relationship I suppose.
- She likes the same sort of movies and is a deep thinker like I am, so we are similar on an intellectual level.

Here is why I think I’m desperate guy with a case of hungry eyes:

- Would I naturally choose to go out with a 50 year old woman if I had real solid options of yonger girls or those within my range? Answer: Not likely unless I was crazy.

- If I was alone with a girl or intimate before, would I have this naive attraction for being with anyone who is taking me on? Answer: Hopefully not unless I was crazy.

- I wouldn’t keep information from my parents unless I was proud of something. For some reason this is being kept quiet. That means something isn’t right. However I’m just posting about it here.

Question # 1: Am I in my right mind to have set-up a coffee date?

Possibly — a coffee date doesn’t mean anything. However, taking that step raises alarm bells that I’m slowly being taken into something that previously would have been something I would not have touched with a ten-foot pole.

Question #2: Should I disclose this to my parents? Tell my mom about this, blow the lid on it so to speak.

Question #3: Maybe it’s a good deal and I’m just making a decision:
- I have someone to take to specific destinations for fun.
- She’s getting something from it since she may feel yonger with me, and I”m getting something from it because I have someone to take out to certain places, and this may be a nice chance of having some real experiences rather than plastic ones.
- I cant find someone in my own age range or yonger possibly because I don’t have my act together and am a momma’s boy, this woman doesn’t seem to care about that.

I guess I’m a bit confused and would like to see what other people think, if I’m making a good judgement, or if I’m just too desperate to even make good judgements anymore of who I’m choosing to meet or date.

I fancy this lad he’s hot but I don’t rally know much about him… We hardly speak but I think about him 24/7 the problem is… He’s 22, I’m 14. Help!!! I know I have no chance but I just want to get to know him a lot better then I do!!! Help please!

Hi All,

I really love to Fall in Love no matter what the age of the person is.. I mean when you are in love, it should not matter unless you use your head to the extreme and think of society, these are the only culprits that can restrict some one falling in love with someone just because of age mismatch.

Does’t it feel bad when you can’t love some one and express your feeling due to age gap alone and just have to look out to love some one else and compromise with your feelings for that special one?

I would really hate to do that, as I do want to express my love to the one I fall in love with, no matter what the age gap is ..

Please rest of you.. let me know your thoughts….

I know of a very successful woman whose husband is 11 years younger and absolutely besotted. So why are such relationships becoming more common? An older woman is usually successful career-wise, well-read and more mature than a 22-year-old girl who lets ambition override her relationship needs. A younger man may find this attractive.

I dated someone five years younger than myself, and it did not work. But I think that had more to do with the fact we were both in our 20s at the time. Most of us pre-26ish don’t realize how little we know about ourselves and life in general, and maybe that’s why I felt more like he wanted a mom than a girlfriend.

The French parliament has raised the age at which a woman can get married - from 15 to 18 - as part of a package to combat domestic violence. The law, which aims to prevent forced marriages, makes the age limit the same as that for men. Tougher penalties for marital rape and assault will now be extended to partners and ex-partners in general.

Age is no bar for love. This was proved when a 33-year-old man in Malaysia tied the knot with a 104-year-old woman, who had married 20 times before. Muhamad Noor Che Musa married Wook Kundor in February saying their marriage was based on mutual love and care. It was Muhamad’s first marriage. The ex-army serviceman from Kuala Berang in northern Malaysia felt the 71-year age gap will not pose any barrier to their relationship as he had found peace since marrying Wook.

As young women they dreamed of bagging a sugardaddy with a fat bank balance. Now they are in their prime, they are seeking something a little more tender, in age. The current crop of over 45s is increasingly on the hunt for a younger man, a survey showed. Over the past year, the number hoping to cradle-snatch has risen by 20% to almost one in ten. And, of those, 3% want a man who is more than 10 years younger than they are. Interestingly around 2/3 of sugarmummies live in rural areas, with their romantic liaisons generated by Internet dating sites.

This is really a special issue and need more attention than what we can discuss here or advice. Age really matter in some cases. But before you do take step forward , note that you have got aGe GaP, and its reality not a myth.

Interestingly, a study on Age Gap Relationships indicated that cases in which the wife was older than the husband showed a higher than usual proportion of good adjustments, as did those in which the husband was eight or more years older. Yet these same marriages showed also the highest proportion of poor adjustments.

It was found that the happiest group of husbands had wives twelve or more years younger, but that the happiest wives were from four to ten years older than their husbands. Yet the happiest couples were those in which the husband was from three to five years older. So you figure it out. Here are some helpful principles:

1. If the man is about the same age as, or somewhat older than the girl, there will be no special problem of age suitability.

2. If the girl is slightly older there will be no special problem unless one or the other feels sensitive about it. The only question then will be, “How do they feel about it?”

3. As people grow older, age differences become less important. Other things being equal, there will be less difference between a woman of fifty and a man of seventy, than between a girl of twenty and a man of forty.

4. When one is relatively young and the other as much as twelve years older, the couple should carefully review the following problems:

What is a good age to marry?

In these age gap relationships, there may be real differences in their interest in physical activities. If the man is the elder, this may not be too important. A man of thirty-five may play as good a game of golf or even tennis, and swim as well as a girl of twenty.

In fact their age gap may actually make them more evenly matched. A greater age gap relationship problem will be the stage in which their interests happen to be.

Younger people often want to gad about at dances, parties, night clubs, and similar activities. When people become older such activities are far less attractive and may, if indulged in too much, become boring.

If the male is considerably older and he and his wife do what he wants, she may miss out on a phase of her experience which, rightly or wrongly, she may always regret. If they do what she enjoys most, he is being dragged through the same experiences twice, perhaps after he is eager to go on to something else.

A compromise may work out. On the other hand, it may result in a type of social life which is satisfactory to neither of them. A deeper phase of the same problem concerns one’s attitude toward life. To those of less experience the problems of age gap relationships seem much simpler than they actually are.

Young people are quite likely to feel that the older generation must be knaves or fools, or they would long since have abolished war, poverty, industrial strife and mosquitoes.

Older people,on the other hand, often find the enthusiasms of youth amusing. They may tolerate them in their children, but do not want them in a spouse. If the age gap is so great that the wife regards her husband as an old fogy, and the husband thinks of his wife as a simple child who spends too much effort and time in things that do not matter, the situation is not favorable to a successful marriage.

Yet the fact that age gap relationships are risky does not necessarily mean that it should not be attempted. One young lady of twenty-five who was marrying a man twice her age strongly stated that she would rather marry a first-class man of fifty than a third-rate man of thirty.

There could be other advantages to such a union. The girl who marries an older man has a better chance of knowing what she is getting. In any case, the most important consideration is not age, but maturity.

Younger people who are more mature than most of their contemporaries may actually find an older mate to be more congenial. Yet as in any age gap relationships, the preference for a much older mate should be scrutinized with great care.

The danger is that the older person is psychologically a substitute parent, rather than a mate.