I dated this really great guy right out of high school until I left for the Army. While I was in basic training I used my five minute phone call to talk to him. He was out and his brother said that he was cheating on me. I was already stressed from basic training, and most guys that I know are cheats. So I broke, and sent him a rude letter. I am back home now and see him often because we live in a small town. He is engaged to a girl, but has put off the wedding twice because, according to his friends and mom I still talk to, he is still in love with me. I still love him, but I do not plan on staying here in this town. I was not born and raised here like him, and so I am not attached to the place. I talked to him last night and we got along great which made me really miss him and feel awful for the way I broke up with him without listening to his side. Should I apologize to him even though it has been a few months, or should I not stir up the past and just let it go? Help please! -Fixing A Bad Breakup

Handling an issue that hasn’t been cleared is typically a good idea. I think it would help you both to move forward with your prospective lives. The only problem I see is if you feel that because you apologized he will want to be with you instead of his fiance. You can’t expect that. He obviously cares enough about the person to have proposed. If he wants to break things off with her he needs to do it because it was his decision. He shouldn’t be doing it because he may think he has someone else who might want to be with him waiting in the corner. Doing so will only make you both have “what if” questions running through your mind whenever you run into problems in the relationship. If a relationship is to transpire, and for it to actually work, you both need to come to it with a clean slate. Honestly though, if you’re planning on leaving anyway, it may just be better to say your apologies and let sleeping dogs lie.

I have been dating this guy for about two months now and I would like to take things to the next level with him. However, he has expressed to me that he is not looking for a relationship, but enjoys the time that we spend together and does not want that to end. He also says that it is possible that we could become more committed in the future. But, I feel like the more time we spend together, the more attached I become. I enjoy the time that we spend together as well and would like for it to continue. We have a good time together and seem to have a good connection, but things aren’t going that way. Should I stick around and continue to enjoy the good times or just move on?
–Unlucky In Love

When you’re looking for someone to become serious with, you need to devote all your attention to the task. If you’ve got someone who you enjoy being with, but is taking you away from your main goal, it’s a distraction. I would approach your situation in a casual way. Continue to go out on dates with him, maybe once or twice a month. In the meantime, start looking for someone else who has the same long-term goals as you do. If he changes his mind, great! If not, you’ll still get to enjoy the time with him, and hopefully develop a great friendship you can maintain long-term.

Finding Free or Inexpensive Events
To take advantage of special or free events in your city you need to be first aware of them. To do this you will need to find out where local events are listed. Your local newspaper is a great place to start. Take a peek at the Current Events or Arts sections for upcoming events or new restaurant openings, etc.

You will also find listings in any local entertainment guides, papers or magazines. Most major cities have a local magazine that gives reviews on restaurants, places to go and more. You might also want to also try the web guides for your city.

Using Nature
Nature is a natural romantic setting. Take some time to discover a few places in your area. Places that have beaches, lakes or waterfalls are perfect to inspire your romantic side. Also, secluded parks are a perfect haven for romantic picnics. The more adventurous might enjoy a hike or long walk through a nature park.

The Arts
There are many museums and arts events that are either free or charge a nominal fee to enter. They offer a way to spend time with your partner and learn more about them and their interests. It is also a great opportunity to expand your own horizons.

Romantic Dinners
It isn’t always necessary to go to a fancy restaurant to have a wonderful romantic dinner. With a little imagination, a fantastic, creative romantic dinner for two can be whipped up quite easily. First start by finding your local farmer’s market. Go there together and pick out items you’d both like to cook for dinner. If you know anything about fishing, arrange for a day trip together and cook whatever you’ve caught (Have a back up plan in case you don’t make a catch!).

If you still want a restaurant atmosphere, go to a place known to serve excessively large portions and share a meal together.

Remember finding inexpensive date ideas are not difficult if you keep your eye out for things. Subscribe to your local paper and/or magazines (or read copies at the library) to always keep up to date on events happening around town.

Does that look across the room mean they want you to come over? Is the way he laughs at your stories a signal he wants your phone number? Most times, to know what someone is truly thinking you’d need a crystal ball, but if you pay attention to the signals their body is sending, you may finally be able to throw away that tarot deck! The next time you’re out on a date, watch for the following signs that show they may be more interested than you think!

1. Extended Physical Contact
Start paying attention to the little things. Does their hand accidentally touch yours? If so, how do they react? Notice whether they jerk it away quickly, or just simply leave it there. The more comfortable they are with close interaction, the more interested they probably are.

2. Lengthy Conversations or Frequent Communication
If someone frequently seeks you out to talk, or you share longer conversations than typical, it’s a pretty good indicator that they may be interested, or at least open to becoming more than friends or acquaintances. Next time you find this happening, take the next move and ask them if they’d like to go somewhere with you.

3. Spends More Time With You Than Typical
Let’s face it, you don’t spend time with people you don’t like. If someone tends to make it a point to always be around you, chances are there is a reason. Find out if they’re interest is a romantic one and arrange to do a few things with them alone, like going to the movies or out to eat.

4. They Go Out Of They’re Way To Be Nice
Pay attention to people who seem to be doing more than necessary for you. Are they always offering to buy you a drink? Do they frequently offer to drive you places? Do they always open doors for you? See if they are doing these things solely for your benefit, and watch to see if they are doing the same things for other people as well.

5. They Are Genuinely Interest In You
Is the person you’re with truly interested in how you are doing? Do they offer advice and counsel when you need it most? Are they always there for you? If so, you may need to make sure you haven’t been looking for love in the wrong places. Remember, some of the best romances are based on friendship.

At the end of a first date comes that awkward moment when you must decide if you want to kiss her or not.

Dating tips for GUYS only Also, if you do kiss her it had better be good to make a favorable impression. It may not be fair, but some single women will judge you on your first kiss as to whether she would be attracted to you want to date you again.

In other words, she must feel some chemistry when she kisses you.

If you are a lousy kisser, then you’re going to be a failure at creating good chemistry between you and your date. Is chemistry important on a first date? You bet it is! And if you’re a great kisser, you’re going to turn her on and have an edge on the other guys that date her that are lousy kissers.

So, just exactly what makes a good kisser and kisses that single women that you go out with won’t forget? The key is to be soft and gentle and follow her lead…that’s all there is to it.

1. At dinner, guard your plate with fork and steak knife, so as to give the impression that you’ll stab anyone, including the waiter, who reaches for it.

2. Collect the salt shakers from all of the tables in the restaurant, and balance them in a tower on your table.

3. Wipe your nose on your date’s sleeve. Twice.

4. Make funny faces at other patrons, then sneer at their reactions.

5. Repeat every third third word you say say.

6. Give your claim to fame as being voted “Most Festerous” for your high school yearbook.

7. Read a newspaper or book during the meal. Ignore your date.

8. Stare at your date’s neck, and grind your teeth audibly.

9. Twitch spastically. If asked about it, pretend you don’t know what they are talking about.

10. Stand up every five minutes, circle your table with your arms outstretched, and make airplane sounds.

11. Order a bucket of lard.

12. Ask for crayons to color the placemat. This works very well in fancier venues that use linen tablecloths.

13. Howl and whistle at womens’ legs, especially if you are female.

14. Recite your dating history. Improvise. Include pets.

15. Pull out a harmonica and play blues songs when your date begins talking about themselves.

16. Sacrifice french fries to the great deity, Pomme.

17. When ordering, inquire whether the restaurant has any live food.

18. Without asking, eat off your date’s plate. Eat more from their plate than they do.

19. Drool.

20. Chew with your mouth open, talk with your mouth full and spray crumbs.

21. Eat everything on your plate within 30 seconds of it being placed in front of you.

22. Excuse yourself to use the restroom. Go back to the head waiter/hostess and ask for another table in a different part of the restaurant. Order another meal. When your date finally finds you, ask him/her “What in the hell took you so long in the restroom?!?”

23. Recite graphic limericks to the people at the table next to you.

24. Ask the people at the neighboring table for food from their plates.

25. Beg your date to tattoo your name on their derriere. Keep bringing the subject up.

26. Ask your date how much money they have with them.

27. Order for your date. Order something nasty.

28. Communicate in mime the entire evening.

29. Upon entering the restaurant, ask for a seat away from the windows, where you have a you have a good view of all exits, and where you can keep your back to the wall. Act nervous.

30. Lick your plate. Offer to lick theirs.

31. Hum. Loudly. In monotone.

32. Fill your pockets with sugar packets, as well as salt and pepper shakers, silverware, floral arrangements… i.e anything on the table that isn’t bolted down.

33. Hold a debate. Take both sides.

34. Undress your date verbally. Use a bullhorn.

35. Auction your date off for silverware.

36. Slide under the table. Take your plate with you.

37. Order a baked potato for a side dish. When the waiter brings your food, hide the potato, wait a few minutes, and ask the waiter for the potato you “never got”. When the waiter returns with another potato for you, have the first one back up on the plate. Repeat later in the meal.

38. Order beef tongue. Make lewd comparisons or comments.

39. Get your date drunk. Talk about their philosophy. Get it on tape, and use good judgement in editing to twist their words around.

40. Discuss boils and lesions, as if from personal experience.

41. Speak in pig latin throughout the meal (Or ubber-dubber language, or just nonsense).

42. Take a break, and go into the restroom. When you return to the table, throw a spare pair of underwear on the back of one of the chairs. Insist that they just need airing out.

43. If they are paying, order the most expensive thing on the menu. Take one bite.

44. Bring 20 or so candles you, and during the meal get up and arrange them around the table in a circle. Chant.

45. Save the bones from your meal, and explain that you’re taking them home to your invalid, senile old mother, because it’s a lot cheaper than actually feeding her.

46. Order your food by colors and textures. Sculpt.

47. Take a thermos along, and hide it under the table. Order coffee, and fill the thermos one cup at a time, taking advantage of the free refills.

48. Insist that the waiter cuts your food into little pieces. In a simliar vein, insist that he take a bite of everything on the plate, to make sure no one poisoned it.

49. Accuse your date of espionage.

50. Make odd allusions to dangerous religious cults.

51. Don’t use any verbs during the entire meal.

52. Pass the hat in the restaurant. Use the proceeds (if any) to pay the bill.

53. Break wind loudly. Add color commentary. Bow.

54. Feed imaginary friends, or toy dolls you’ve brought along.

55. Bring a bucket along. Explain that you frequently get ill.

Two weeks before my graduation I met a guy on the soccer team. The strangeness was I had grown up two streets over from him when till my eighth grade year, I knew of his ex sister in law who was in my sisters wedding and knew all his friends., yet I never had met him. The sad thing is I we met in the math room at my high school and both kept coming up everyday during lunch. Finally one day I thought I’d give him my email address and we started talking for 3 hours at a time. its liek we became instant friends. Neither one of us knew the other liked eachother. Last June 1st both our plans with friends got cancelled and we both ended up on the computer and he asked if I wanted to goto a movie. I thought sure were friends why not? Even though my Mom was convinced it was a date. So he picked me up with a new hair cut and opened my door for me. I should have knwo then right? Well I didn’t and on our way to dinner he got a speeding ticket. Which we now laugh about. So I felt bad and paid for my own dinner. Not till we walked out the door and he offered his arm did I realized this was a date! Then we went to the movies,and he did the cutest thing. He put the divider between the chairs up so I could come closer to him. Then he said, ” your not the kind of girl that kisses on the first date are you?” So I leaned over and kissed him, and for the rest of the movie he held me, played with my hair, looked down at me with his beautiful brown eyes and gave me little kisses. Some may look at us and wonder how we missed out for over 12 years of not meeting, for us we see it as a destiny that we met so late. we hit it off right away and spent a wonderful summer together. After some tough times we have been together for 8 months and next year he will be at college with me. Our first date was funny, our first kiss incredible, and our love undeniable. I love him with all my heart. Happy Valentines Day Sweetheart! *muah*

In today’s fast paced world, it’s difficult at times to combine a career with a romantic relationship. This is especially true for those who are in high pressure positions where their careers force them to work long hours or be available for dinner meetings or out of town functions. In the past this was a problem only men had to face, but today with so many female executives it’s a problem that faces both genders equally. It may even affect women more than men because women are still new to the management field and must prove themselves in a field that was previously dominated by men.

One of the biggest obstacles that men and women face in a career-oriented world is how to set priorities. Quite often there seems to be the belief that it’s essential to attend every after hours meeting and every out of town function in order for the company to maintain its level of trust and confidence in each person in a position of authority. Both men and women neglect their spouse or partner in order to maintain their position at the top of the corporate ladder. At the same time they expect their relationships to remain in tact until they get to where they want to be or feel they have won the confidence of those higher in the corporate infrastructure.

Although many relationships will survive the neglect that is part of the climb up the corporate ladder, many others will not. This is especially prevalent for males because they do not always know when they have reached the point where they no longer need to put their entire lives on hold. These Type A personalities are the workaholics, those who are “married” to their jobs and unable to enjoy life outside of work. It is fortunate that not all executives are in this category, but there are enough of them that there is need to address the issue of relationship neglect.

For the up and coming executive, he or she must realize that the person who is supporting your climb to the top will only be there for you as long as you acknowledge their presence in your life. That means your job cannot consume you as you come home at nine or ten o’clock every night expecting a hot meal and your favorite drink. You also should not expect your partner to be denied your company every night of the week.

It’s essential for you to take time to work on your relationship even while you are working on your career. If you neglect your relationship, there will be no one there to cheer you when you reach your highest level of achievement. A relationship requires nurturing, even married couples who have been married for over 20 years. There is no point in your career when you can sit back and work on your career and neglect your marriage or partnership. Always put your relationship first and work on your career during your normal working hours and occasional evening meeting and out of town conference.

I get so frustrated by women who consume their daily lives with thoughts of finding “Mr. Right.” First of all, there is no such thing. Everyone has flaws, you just have to find someone who has flaws that you can handle. Secondly, the more you look, the harder he is to find and the longer it will probably be before you find him. I have found it much easier to just enjoy myself, be independent, HAVE FUN, and let what happens happen. It’s much more gratifying that way. You don’t build yourself up only to be broken down by rejection or just plain crappy guys who weren’t even worth your time anyway. BE CONFIDENT! If you aren’t confident in yourself, it’s harder for a man to find you attractive. Girls who are the insecure types are the ones that you see out throwing themselves on guys because they think that for that 30 minutes (max) that they hook up with a guy, they’re special. They hold onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, that one night stand will last longer than one night. Never happens ladies. Don’t degrade yourself that way, you’re better than that. Don’t let guys treat you like a piece of meat. If you can’t respect yourself, at least keep up your reputation for the sake of being a woman, for the rest of us out there who don’t present ourselves that way.

A really good first date, especially if you don’t know each other is a lunch date. This is very comfortable for your first date; usually it is best if your date meets you there. They know it will only be an hour and can leave at anytime since they met you there. They will be around other people and they know they will be safe. This first type of date should be at some kind of local café. Avoid the chain restaurants, these are usually packed, have a long wait, and certainly aren’t very interesting. Going to a local café shows ingenuity, adventure, and style. These cafes are usually quieter and you will get a chance to talk and get to know each other. Find one that has a “Cool” reputation and offers a variety of food and beverage.