Our story is different. Dale is from the US and I am from Hong Kong. Dale and I met on ICQ and over time, we fell in love with each other. Sounds pretty wild huh? But the story ending will probably even surprise you more.

On June 8th, 1999, I came to the US to meet him. It is an amazing experience, even now I can still remember how sweet I felt when I saw him for the first time, I wish the clock will stop and we can just enjoy that moment without any interruption from the outside world. His first touch, first smile, our first eye contact, our first kiss - everything made me feel like I was the luckiest person on earth. We just feel so good about our relationship.

On June 18th something that change our lives happened. There was a wedding ceremony and we were the two main person involved in it. So here I am, living in a pretty house with a big yard with my sweetheart Dale. Not to forget I have two step-daughters, Chelsea and Hillary. We live happily together and I am enjoying the life here. Our story inspires myself that, love has no distance.

By the time this article is printed in the Hungarian Internet Kalauz, Robi will have left the country and began a new life with his love in the far away Canada. The story you are about to read is expected to be fulfilled around this time. This is a big event in the lives of Robi and Krisztina, whom kept their relationship on a virtual level for a marathon length of close to one year. Finally, this summer they met for the first time face to face and were able to hold each other in reality.

After one month of blissful togetherness they were forced to separate when Krisztina had to fly back across the ocean and for a while they were once more forced to use the internet and the telephone cables to maintain their relationship. With the help of the cables they were able to spend time together, to share their every days while both were working on establishing a joint future for themselves.

Robi had commented earlier on the stories that appeared in the love story column, but the surprise came when I received the following e-mail from him:

“Many interesting things happened to me since my last e-mail to you. Actually it was your article that prompted me to tell my story, the one that is still going on. Unfortunately it would be next to impossible to do it in writing so I would like to ask if it may be possible to either meet or to talk on the phone. I’m not maniac or anything like that, its simply that I’ve found someone on the net who to me represents joy and the future. To give you an idea, my current phone bill is 117,853HUF – but I don’t care!”

When I first met Robi what surprised me was the determination with which he speaks of his relationship with Krisztina. At that time he never actually met her, yet he knew without a doubt and was willing to say, that he met the ONE. “She thinks of something – and I can say it.” He was talking about perfect harmony and a deep rooted love. Later events have proven him right, but for now let me quote from a conversation that sheds light on how the net brought so close two people who were at such distance from each other.

Tell me how you’ve found each other?
It was just about that time that I was finished with a 4 year relationship and was living alone for a while. Although everything was OK around me I felt a lack of someone in my life. I’ve decided ‘why not’ and out of curiosity I’ve placed an ad through the Datanet personals. I didn’t have any specific ideas, basically I was curious to see who would respond to an ad like that since I’ve never met anyone before that on the Internet. Just for the sake of security I did put the sentence ‘maniacs spare me’. The first message I received simply asked ‘Where do you live?’ Since I was able to determine from the writer’s address that she is in Canada and I was interested in finding out about the country and the people who live there, I thought why not exchange letters with a Canadian girl? That is how it began. My nick was Leon and to Krisztina the name meant the same thing as was my reason for choosing it. We continued to find many things in common as the e-mails went back and forth we were tasting each other, getting to know one another and getting closer to each other. So much so that when I once jokingly mentioned that I was living with someone (I meant it as a joke because I meant the spiders living in my place), her feelings became hurt. She thought I was just playing her along and she wanted to break off our correspondence, that is, she was asking for time to think. By the time I won her back, I realized that this was serious.

Were there other misunderstandings between you?
Yes, but that is almost unavoidable. In written communications this can happen quite frequently. It is enough for one to read a sentence with a different accent than intended and the message will be decoded to mean something different from what had been intended. The most misunderstandings occurred while we were on the ICQ chat. That was the main reason, of course there were others, that we’ve changed over to regularly talking on the telephone, which of course, became a financial hardship for both of us. Still, we could not resist, we needed to hear each other’s voice, at least that. It was wonderful to be together, at times just being quiet. We could also read each other’s thoughts.

Did you completely change over to telephone or did you also still correspond by e-mail?
Yes of course, we wrote lots of letters. Common sense would have dictated that we put all our thoughts into e-mail and on-line chat since that was less expensive and more effective but love has a different point of view. Naturally we continued to write volumes. I opened may mailbox like a man possessed. There were days when I came home during the day from work, much to the joy of my boss, to check if I had any new mail. We tried out ICQ, VoxPhone and the Internet Phone because we wanted to find a solution so we could spend more and more time ‘together.’

What kind of communications records did you set?
There were days when we sent between 4-8 e-mails and the record telephone call lasted 14 hours. That, of course, was not the only time because from November 1, 1997 to the day she arrived we talked anywhere between 2-9 hours daily. Practically we ‘virtually’ lived together. Because of the time difference, we’ve had situations when I went to bed when she was waking, we talked and when I was getting up she was getting ready for sleep, we were still on the line. To this day she’s the one who wakes me, who tucks me in takes care of me and helps me with everything from the distance.

The danger of internet relationships, especially those that last this length is that the individuals completely break away from reality and they create a removed, illusion like image of themselves and of the other that generally shatters upon the first meeting. How were you two able to avoid this?
We tried to give as much as possible of our real selves and a taste of our real existence. We exchanged traditional letters written on paper also to see each other’s handwriting. On the phone we could hear each other’s voice and I’ve sent her a video of me so that she could see my motions, how I move and how I talk. I received lots o photos of her and I was able to see her face and smile frequently. In one of the packages she once sent me a sample of her hair. To reciprocate I sent her my favorite garbo shirt that is still with her. My first gift to her I remember arrived for Christmas. It was a big surprise the first of many others to come. I sent her CD’s and cassettes and after a while she too began to spoil me with her love. The best gift was when she sent me her diary that was written during a 40 day fast.

A 40 day fast? What does that mean?
We offered up a fast for the two of us and the agreement was that for 40 days we would exchange only snail mail as a form of communication. It was extremely difficult to adhere to it and as we’ve confessed to each other later, this was a big test and sacrifice for both of us.
You met in the fall and by the winter love was in full blossom yet you had to wait until the middle of summer before you could meet.

How did you do it?
That became more and more difficult with the passage of time. At the beginning of summer I began to have physical pains just from missing her, that I could not touch and hold her. Still, there was so much I received from her even at this distance that I felt happy and knew that it is worth waiting for. She gave me something important, she gave me back my faith/religion that I thought Id lost. She became the balm of my soul, wonderful, lovely, understanding being with whom I could share all my thoughts of joy and sorrow. I met her family and best friend since her parents lived here in Hungary and they welcomed me to the family.

Tell us what was the much awaited meeting like?
Rationality would have required that I meet her at the airport but I had something more memorable in mind according to my own script and I am very glad that it worked out that way. The moment of our meeting will forever be etched in our mind. Through her father I did send a yellow rose and a message to greet her at the airport which succeeded in getting a tear from her eye. Our intimate meeting was planned for along the prettiest part of the Danube. Since we did not want either one of us to awkwardly stand around waiting for the other, we agreed that at a given time Krisztina would begin walking from Batthyany ter and me from the Chain Brigde and somewhere mid-way we would meet.

Were you very nervous?
No, I was calm because I knew it would be her. The days and hours prior to the meeting were excruciating. Time just did not want to pass and I had a difficult time concentrating on work and sleeping. The impatient wait wore me out and I suffered physically and emotionally. Finally 5 p.m. arrived and through a mobile phone we signaled each other that we were ready to leave. We could have been in conversation but at that time we did not want to, just a walk in solitude. I felt some indescribable feelings when I saw Krisztina approach. She was smiling from a distance. Her smile was beautiful and when we reached each other we stood in an embrace for a long time. We’ve pressed the air out of each other grinning from ear-to-ear from happiness and I was filled with a wonderful sense of calm.

Where did you go first?
After we had another couple that walked by take our photograph at that blissful moment, we had to get refreshments to our dried out throats. Very soon it felt as though we’ve been together for a long time. The useless things were left off since we’ve already knew each other and it felt more like a reunion than a meeting. Our first joint outing was to go to the Holy Family Church where we took part in a six hour service. Both of us accepted communion and lit candles. It was an intimate time for us and being in a church was the most suitable place to express our gratitude for what has happened to us.

Naturally, we’ve spent as much time together as possible. It was as thought I’ve had a lost piece of my soul restored to me. We went to a famous Croatian pilgrimage in Medjugorje where I proposed to her. It was dusk and we stood on top of a hill at the foot of the cross. In a moment, I removed my necklace and asked: “my dearest Krisztina, will you be my wife?” She blushed and simply said: “I’ll be your wife Robi.” I put the necklace around her neck and she’s been wearing it ever since. We hugged and were tremendously happy. (The photo was taken at that moment.) Later, for the sake of formality, I’ve asked her father for his daughter’s hand. This caused a surprise in the family. At first they had their doubts about our relationship, perhaps because of the unnusual age difference (I’m 21 and Krisztina is 28), but soon our surrounding accepted us as a couple. They looked at us with love because they could see how much we loved each other. Wherever we went, Szentendre, Visegrad or a concert at St. Martin, there was a serene, loving peace that surrounded us. When we were in a restaurant it was not the food, but each other that we paid attention to. She is a fantastic person and woman and I ask myself if I deserve her? Her happiness is the most important thing to me and it is only with her that I can find my own. Parting was excruciatingly painful, but four weeks had passed and I had to let her go. We agreed that in December I will visit her. My immigration proceeding is going well and we are both working hard to make our start together easier.

What was it like after being together to go back to the virtual form of communication?
I hat the e-mail the chat. I want her, to feel, see and hear. After the real dimension it is a tremendous step back to return to the virtual. It doesn’t matter that technology had made so many methods of communication available, I suffer from this and I know it is not easy for her either. It is a difficult chore for me to get her to understand that I love her and to comfort her when she gets discouraged. We are making an attempt at cutting down on the telephone use but it is not easy. We continually dream about how wonderful it will be together again and although it is slow in coming, the countdown has begun.

Don’t you regret leaving the country, family and friends?
I’m sorry about my mother most of all, because I know how much she will miss me. But one thing makes it easier, knowing that she is not alone any more. Would you believe that after I introduced her to the mysteries of ICQ and e-mail she too found a partner in Sweden. The man came to visit her in Hungary and my Mother visited him up North. They love each other and although neither wants to permanently leave their country they do organize occasional meetings and the rest of the time spend a lot of time talking on the net, e-mail and generally filling the void in each other’s lives. I am happy that it worked for them also. I remember with a smile the time when we were pushing each other out of the way to get to the ICQ first to see if my Krisztina or her Henrik were in line.

How are you planning your lives in Canada? Aren’t you worried that you’ll want to return, or that you won’t find yourself in a strange country?
In Toronto, where we plan to live there are a lot of Hungarians and it won’t be difficult to find friends and community. Krisztina has lived there for years and through her I should quickly succeed in becoming familiar with local customs, the language, although I already speak English fairly well. I have a specialized job and I believe I can realistically expect to succeed in getting a well paying job that will allow me to provide a secure future for my family. We are planning our wedding for the turn of the century, followed by a dream trip then children and family. I know Krisztina will be a wonderful mother and wife. Among the short term goals I have an important chore. My better half already planned that I would be this years Santa Claus at the local nursery school.

Following the latest internet love story I’ve received an unusual number of e-mail and it appeared to me that the writers had one common purpose in sitting down to their keyboards - the desire to tell their story. Perhaps because the earlier stories introduced cyber love in a sad or frightening light, now there were people writing who perhaps wanted to prove that the internet is not only a place where psychotics and damaged souls go to find companionship. It is also a vehicle to meet’ for people who might never otherwise have the opportunity to find happiness. Gabor’s letter is also proof of this:

Dear Andrea,
The latest issue of the Internet Kalauz got in my hands a few days ago and right on the cover I saw the caption “Internet Love Story.” The title had my attention immediately since I am among those who are in a similar situation. I read the story in the issue and liked it. I felt sorry for Victoria that her romance did not end as it does in the Hollywood movies, but life is sometimes raw and cruel. At the end of the article I saw an invitation to respond if someone had similar experiences. I am not in the category where my romance is in the “past,” my adventure is happening now.

Believe it or not, but the fact that this romance exists is because of the Internet Kalauz, because the address where we’ve met was listed in the IK - we could say it was an accident. In an earlier issue I’ve found the web sight for www.eslcafe.com where there was an opportunity for interaction and learning and practice of English. It was then, as it is now, that I am in a need of continuous practice, I’ve visited the address. The first several visits nothing happened that was out of the ordinary. I’ve had pleasant conversations with my modest level of English with a range of individuals from throughout the world - until WHAM, when she appeared. Somehow we began a conversation and almost immediately we hit it off. She was a beginner with English as was I and with the cute mistakes she made with the tenses and the charmingly exciting modesty about her, she charmed me off my feet. We would talk for hours - it was unforgettable! I promised that we would talk again, exchanged e-mail addresses, etc.

Two or almost three weeks passed where I was not able to get on the net because of my job but finally one afternoon I logged on and as the twist of faith would have it, ended up at the ESL Cafe‚ site again. She wasn’t there, or at least at first I did not think so. Unexpectedly I received a message from an individual whose name was unfamiliar to me up until then. (It was her.) At first, I was asking where do we know each other from but the person would not tell me (she loves guessing games) but after a while I realized it was her. Naturally, it was a big help in this guessing game that this person told me that he/she was (also) from Malaysia. Then I’ve asked if she had an ICQ number - and what do you know - she did. I’ve added it to my address list immediately and invited her for a private chat. She accepted. We spoke all night with our ”kitchen-English” but had no trouble understanding each other. In a private chat she was able to relax somewhat but remained exceptionally timid and modest, which I believe must characteristic of Asian women. We liked each other so well that after this we were on the chat whenever we could find time and continue to do so. We have these virtual dates more and more frequently!

The next step was that I’ve asked for her mailing address and she for mine. Soon I’ve received a brief note from her that she sent as an experiment to see that she copied the address correctly. Everything was fine. It was around that time that I’ve sent her the only existing scanned photo of myself - which, while I consider myself no better than average looking, is not a flattering photo of me. She was still willing to converse with me after receiving it and I took that as a promising sign. (Remembering the photo reference in your article about the photo exchange in Victoria’s story.)

She introduced me to several of her girlfriends and I felt that I’ve succeeded in convincing them also that I was not a hopeless case. I’ve asked her often for a photo of herself but finding various excuses she had avoided sending me a photo until now.

I’ve received snail mail from her yesterday and to my surprise there was a group photo included. Naturally, she was playing her guessing game again but I was nut successful in guessing which might be her - but in the meantime, I realized that it really did not matter. I did not fall in love with her because of what she looked like (I assume you’ve realized by now that this is what this long preview is leading up to), but rather for what she said, her thoughts and views and her expression made her feel so close to me regardless of the fact that there are more than 7000 km and an entire culture that stand between us. She is 19 and I’m 24 but I still find her behavior at times childish, but I always write this off to different upbringing. I’ve tried through our conversations to give her more confidence, more expression to her will. While these things are not altogether missing from her character but to my European eyes they seem to be in altogether too small portions.

Whether or not the feelings of romance are mutual I don’t know, although her girlfriend had made references to this on several occasions. In any case, in my mind our relationship belongs to the platonic romance category, the love of the soul that is developing. I hope she sees it the same. I suspect it will remain this way - at least for a good while - as the distance between us appears impossible to bridge despite the fact that modern man sees the distances on our planet shrinking all the time. Perhaps once, if Faith also wills it, we will meet in person.

So much for history. I realize there is nothing extra, I suspect there are similar stories out there by the dozen but it still felt good to tell someone who listened - or in this case read. I could not tell my friends about this - they would probably laugh at me - but I know you would not do that.

I’ve been seeing this wonderful woman for about three months. We both want to make it an official boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, and have held off on having sex to avoid complicating our situation. Our problem is that we both have issues from previous relationships that impede us from getting past the “just seeing each other” phase. We talk about our issues quite a bit, but it feels like we’re in a rut, and are both scared to take the next step. I’m really not sure what to do at this point. Can you help us?
–Scared To Commit

Dear Scared To Commit,
When you try to protect yourself against future emotional pain, you end up hurting yourself worse. You may not get hurt the way you were trying to avoid, but someone will definitely end up getting hurt, and it’s usually you.

Love is learning to trust someone else with your true inner feelings. Yes, they can do things that can cause immense pain, but real love is about trusting them not to. The whole experience, whether it’s good or bad, is about learning more about yourself and what you are capable of handling. You grow in ways you wouldn’t know were possible because of your involvement in that person’s life.

You can try to protect yourself forever, but you aren’t doing yourself any favors. Life can’t be experienced to its fullest potential when you continually shut the doors its opening for you.

My advice, give it a try. You both have a similar background; maybe that will help you both get past your emotional pain. It’s possible that you’ve both gone through what you did, just so you could be together. If you don’t at least give it a try, how will you know?

With Love,

I am a soldier
Trained and conditioned
Served my time
But I didn’t choose this mission
Fighting a war
I think I’m the only
Solider for the lonely

I have been wounded
Under fire
But it’s not deterred
Or weakened my desire
To defend them
‘Cause I’m the only
Solider for the lonely

Chorus:
For every heart that’s been broken
For every kind word left unspoken
Every promise not remembered
I’ll not forget
I’ll not surrender
‘Cause I’m the only
Soldier for the lonely

Here in the trenches
No sanctuary
Nights are long
And solitary
Nobody holds me
‘Cause I’m the only
Soldier for the lonely

Repeat chorus

I’ll plant a rose
I’ll shed a tear
I’ll die alone
No one to hear
My battle cry
‘Cause I’m the only
Soldier for the lonely
I’m the only
Soldier for the lonely

Me and my boyfriend (Scott) recently broke up (sorta) about 3 weeks ago. He lost trust in me and it’s my fault because I have lied to him a lot for no apparent reason and over little minor things. Now he’s told me that in his heart he wants to be with me.And right now he’s dating someone but doesn’t really want to be with her. Me and him have known each other since we were very little because he lived next door. He was my first kiss and everything. I was his 1st everything. We’ve always believed that we are meant to be and right now we really want each other. I love him and he loves me. All my life he’s said that I am his first true love. Scott is a great person and I love him dearly and he told me just today that he doesn’t want to let go of me and that he doesn’t want me to move on and I don’t want to. I want him back! The other problem is that his new date has a cousin that goes 2 our school and she’s a brat and doesn’t want Scott to have anything to do with me and he was kinda mean to me earlier. I just need advice how I can get him back in my life and understand that things will be different. I love him more than anything and I know he loves me. He said a thousand times that in his heart he wants to be with me. So please help.
Kacie.

1. well theres this guys his name is brandon.and we have been datting 4 allmost 2moths and i really love him.but the only hing he is from kentucky and hes just down visting his dad 4 the summ and hes living 2mro.and really want to be wit him but his mom wont let him live down here.but i really dont kno how its gonna work.he told me that he loved me and wanted to stay together bt he wont be back down here till like thanksgiving.and i want to brake up wit him bc we wont ever be able to hang or anything.but the other half of him really loves him and really dont give a crap where he lives i just have to trust him.but thats really hard and everybody else is making it really hard on us like saying we r gonna cheat and we will never make it.soo i really dont kno wat to do . should i brke up wit him or keep being his gf plz help me…..

My name is … well, they call me DoDo, doesnt matter who, but thats how im known. I met this guy (Abdul) in an online game on valentines day. I was playing with another friend and he kept talking to me and he showed some interest. We started talking and playing together a couple of days later, he was in my msn list. We talked about some crazy stuff, I remembered he used to make me laugh and smile alot, I liked him so much .. He soon started telling me about this girl he likes who has the same name as mine. He was crazy about her and always wanted to ask her out, and tell her how he feels. I used to get really annoyed but I never showed it. I used to tell him to go for it, he should take a step forward .. and so he did. After that we stopped talking for a while, I felt sad for sometime and then we just stopped talking ! Two months later, im playing that online game and he enters the room asking for a girl named dodo .. I knew who he was and at first I told him im not her, n then I told him it was me and so we started talking and he told me he had gone out with this girl for sometime and later on she broke his heart and they broke up. I was sad to hear about this, he was really sad at that time, he was angry too. We would leave the game and come online on msn and chat for a very long time, we would share stuff, make eachother cry at times, and smile at others. Later this relationship we had grew to be LOVE. At first we never said “I love you”, we just gave eachother hugs and kisses. it was like “I missed you so mich” “*hugs*” “I was thinking about you the whole time” these kinda stuff. We both knew where this was going ! At that time, I had alot of friends, close friends I mean. One of them was a guy I liked who also had broke up with his gf, I didnt know what to do at that time. Both of the guys I liked were friends, I didnt want to be with one and leave the other. They both cared about me so much and I did too. Stupid I was, I played them both. It wasnt too long till abdul found out I was in a relationship with the other guy. Abdul was very sweet, kind and honest. He told me if thats how I really feel about the other guy, then I should be with him and we would just be friends. At that time, I was a playgirl. I wish it was just those 2 guys that i lied to, but there were 3 more. I dont know how I did this but it happend and i regret it till this day. I broke so many hearts, made the people who once liked me HATE me, and I got myself a bad reputation ! This thing lasted for about … a year I could say, well almost a year. By june 2008, I had no friends at all. No online friends, I dont even have real life friends. Im a shy person in real and my social life sux !! In May or June I received an SMS from Abdul, I was shocked ! The last time we had a talk, few months back, we didnt like eachother, he hated me !!! Now he sends me a message telling me he misses me and so hard to forget me. Well, I wasnt supposed to reply (as he wished) but I also couldnt help it and I just sent him a message and we started talking again. At first it was really weird, its like we just miss eachother but we have nothing to say. It was hard to talk to him because I was ashamed of what i’ve done and he probably was nervous about this thing, we also laughed about this feeling. Day by day, things started getting smoother and easier, we talked normally, like the old days. We started sharing stuff with eachother again and he made me smile again. We never felt that MAYBE we would fall in love again and that this is a bad thing, or that we should back off before our feelings control us. Actually he made it clear since the begining that there will never be anything more than friendship between us. I never knew why, he said he has his reasons. I thought its better too ! As time passed by, I thought, can we really do this? I mean, can “I” really do this? Sometimes when he leaves a private message about love I ask him who is it for? and whats happening? I get jealous sometimes and it really shows when I get jealous although i make it sound like I dont care. He sometimes tries to make me feel jealous, I thought maybe he has the same feelings like me, but NO it would never work dodo so stop thinking about it ! I was so happy he was back to my life, I thought about him every day, every night I go to bed he is what I think about, he is all I WANNA think about. Even if we both wished we could be together, I let him down 3 times !! I wouldnt allow myself to fall inlove with him and if I did, then I wont tell him so I dont hurt him again. I never wanted to hurt him, he is .. the best cyber friend anyone could ever have. Always knew what to say and what to do to make me feel better. Days passed by and we got closer and closer BUT still friends ! My grandmother got sick and she had to be taken to a hospital in the country where Abdul lives and it was a great opportunity for me to MAYBE meet Abdul. August 2nd I was in Pakistan, unfortunately Abdul went to another country for vacation. I thought maybe this wasn’t such a good idea, maybe its better that he isn’t here. I guess I wasn’t ready to see him in real life yet. However, when Abdul came back to Pakistan, I was still there and he really wanted to see me but I told him I was back to UAE, I lied. I wasn’t sure I can do this but 2 days later I told him I had lied and we decided to meet. There was this AMAZING place in the mountains where he used to go with his friends and take pictures. I loved it and I always wanted to go there, and so we did. So, I went there early so it would be like HE came to ME not the opposite. I was sitting alone and told him I would wear a leather jacket, white top and jeans. So, he saw me and came and said Hi. He was smiling the whole time, he never took his eyes off my face until I started blushing so he didn’t want me to get MORE nervous, he looked the other side and we started talking normally. I was a bit mean to him because that’s how I act when I feel shy, he understood me. It was a great meeting I would say, it wasn’t a date. We stayed up the mountain for about an hour, we talked ate ice cream and went back home at sunset. There was a moment of silence, awkward ! I felt like killing my self at that time, he wasn’t talking and neither was I. I was thrilled, scared, shy and nervous. I wasn’t sure he liked the REAL me, but I was SURE I liked him even more. That night at about 12am he SMSed me saying he had a great time and wish to do it again if I didn’t mind and I replied SURE, 2 minutes later we started chatting by sms talking about the MEETING. He said I looked cute but I was too shy so he didn’t look at me a lot. I told him he was sweet and funny and I enjoyed his company. I had 3 more days till I go back to UAE so we arranged for a DATE this time. We called it a date even though it really wasn’t, but we liked to think of it as our first official date. So, it was a cold Friday, we went out for dinner to the same place we first met, in the mountains. We both ordered the same dish, and for drinks we had water. As we were sitting I remember trying to be funny so I said, I ONLY drink cold water, so next time when the waiter asks, please let ME answer! He laughed and then as we were talking a waiter passed, he stopped him and said we would like cold water instead. I remember this moment because it really .. for me it was really nice of him to pay attention to whatever I said. He just said it and continued talking normally. So after we had had our dinner, we went for a walk. The place was crowded but we went a little far. We talked about lots of stuff about the past, sad and happy, he talked the most .. I loved every word he said. He said : dodo TALK ! I barely heard your voice. I was like : I AM TALKING. Then he said : ok ok I know your shy, but don’t show it because people will think we are a couple. I never wanted that day to end, doesn’t matter if he wanted to be my friend at that time, I just wanted to keep walking with him forever. It was a dream come true. We came back home and talked about the date again, this time it was better than the first time. We kept chatting on msn for hours till the very last day for me in Pakistan. I was on the way to the airport and my mobile’s credit finished. I felt so bad because he wanted us to SMS till I was asked to switch off the mobile. He really surprised me and made me fall in love with him even more, I got an SMS from him, he asked me to turn backwards and that he has a surprise for me. My heart started beating fast and I was hoping this surprise would be him and so it was ! He was there waving at me when I needed him. We didn’t have to talk or say a word, his smile meant the world to me. I could read his lips, he said Bye H….DaH. I opened my mouth to say something but I couldn’t, I waved back and left. I was thinking about him the whole time in the plane, I closed my eyes and kept thinking of every second we spent together, every word he said to me, everything ! As I came back home I went straight to bed, I was exhausted. My sister asked me how was it? I told her if she had gone, she wouldn’t have had much fun but for me, it was the BEST vacation ever. I knew I loved him, I knew I loved him all along. I was pretty sure he had the same feelings as I do. In all our conversations, people would never guess we are friends. Weeks passed and we still were friends, I don’t blame him ! I’ve let him a couple of times before he should take his time. It was a sad evening when I came online to see his nickname has another girls name. I felt broken, the first thing I said to him was WHO IS SHE? He said she was a close friend of his and he has been going out with her for sometime and that they had a fight recently. His nickname said “I’m sorry **** .. *hugs*”. I could guess he had feelings for her, like the feelings I have for him. We started chatting and he noticed my attitude had changed and he asked me if it was because of his nickname. I said no, why should it be the reason, im just a lil tired. He asked me if I had a problem with him being close to a girl “after all we are FRIENDS like you wanted dodo”. Excuse me? Like what “I” wanted? He is the one who said we cannot be loved for some “reasons”. I cried so much that night, I didn’t know what to say or what to do. I wish I never saw this, I wish I never knew this ! How could he not feel this towards me? How could he not know what I felt? Everything I had imagined was wrong. I washed my face and said its ok dodo, maybe you guys are meant to be friends. He found someone, one day you will find someone too. Reality was way to difficult, day by day I talk and try to act normal but deep inside I am dying, who was I kidding? This cant go on forever. I was so selfish, at some point I wished she could get sick and leave my Abdul alone, I wanted him just for me. Three months passed and I realized I couldn’t take it anymore. That when I decided to leave without letting him know. It was February 14th, he went out with his friends and came out at about 11, we chatted till it was 2 am in Pakistan. I tried to make that night perfect, no arguments or any sad memories. I made sure he went offline satisfied with no hard feelings towards me, and that was the last night we spend together. Its been a year now, I changed my email and my number. He sent me a couple of messages before I changed my number but I never replied. I was hoping he thought I was sick or dead. It was really hard for me to get over him, I still believe I didn’t, that’s why I am writing this now. All I kept from him was a picture we took up in the mountains and a bracelet he sent me for my birthday. I hope he is happy in his life and he is in a good health, I always wish him well, I never forgot him and I still cry when I listen to our fav song (Far Away by nickelback). I guess if I had told him I loved him before it was too late, I would be in his arms right now. That’s our story ..

I don’t know what to think anymore
Leading me on yet keeping me behind

I keep chasing
I keep catching

Her signs sometimes clear sometimes dim
What do I do I’m so confused

She’s the only one I wish to be with
On the other hand I care so much I only want the best for her

I tell myself if im not the best its okay
As long as she’s happy ill be happy

But in my heart I know I well ache
I know ill feel empty

Does she or does she not
I keep chasing because I care

Maybe I care too much
Should I just let it go

Or keep praying
I try to always be there
I do whatever I can to help
Whatever puts a smile on her face I do

How far do I have to go
How long do I have to wait?

To have her ill do anything
Yet will she do the same for me

I care too much
To just let it go
Someone like her I never thought I would know

I only have one hope
I pray everyday for her safety and health
I pray that one day will be together as one

Will my prayers be answered I’ll never know
I’ll leave it to God for he is the only one who knows

For those who have never done it, a French Kiss can be intimidating!

Just the idea of touching your tongue to someone else’s tongue may seem gross. If this is the case, then it’s likely you’re not ready to try it.

The most important thing about French kissing, or any type of kissing or contact with someone else, is that YOU feel ready to enjoy it.

There’s nothing worse than being pressured into kissing. If it’s forced you’re not going to enjoy it - so don’t do it.

if you’ve kissed someone on the lips before, the French Kiss is actually not that dramatically different from a normal kiss. During a regular mouth kiss, your lips should already be slightly parted and relaxed.

Now, it’s just a matter of bringing your tongue to the front of your mouth, until it touches your partner’s tongue or lips. If their tongue is not already in position, the sensation of your tongue at their lips is a tell-tale sign that you’re ready for this kiss to become a FRENCH kiss.

If your partner is also ready with lips slightly parted, you can give the universal French Kiss signal by opening your mouth a little further and darting your tongue out just a bit.

If your partner responds by opening their lips further and/or you feel their tongue against yours, great. However, this is still not an invitation to force your tongue deep into your partner’s mouth or begin sucking or licking away like a kid on a dime store lollipop.

Like regular kissing, French kissing is done best when it starts off slowly.

As your partner responds, things can become a little more passionate and involved. If you are both enjoying it, you can always begin to move your tongue slightly, caressing their tongue with it or running your tongue over your partner’s lips.

Much like kissing, French kissing works out best when both people involved use a similar technique. Relaxed lips and tongue, moist but not sloppy, passionate at the appropriate time but not overly forceful.

Done correctly and with a partner you feel a romantic connection with, French kissing can be a very enjoyable experience.

But, perhaps the most important thing to remember is that kissing is, and always will be, an art, and not a science. There is no exact way that anyone can tell you how to French kiss.

The guidelines here are just that - tips to help you along the way. You will probably kiss each person that you become romantically involved with a slightly different way, depending upon how they kiss and a multitude of other factors. Remember these tips, and ‘the moment’ will be that much easier!

A first kiss should always be done while the two of you are alone. This will help to avoid any unnecessary nervousness and embarrassing situations. The best type of kiss is one that uses different variations… such as starting with a small kiss, working into a French Kiss, maybe sucking on your partner’s upper or lower lip… And don’t just leave kisses to the lips. Kiss their cheeks, their chin or their eyelids. This can be very seductive and romantic

Great Breath - This is very important. Make sure you brush your teeth before going out on your date. There is nothing worse than kissing someone with bad breath.
If your date consists of having something to eat before the actual kiss, make sure you have a mint on hand to take right after you finish eating. Don’t take the mint just before the kiss or chew on gum. You don’t want to have something in your mouth when you kiss.

Moist Lips - You want your lips to be slightly moist when you kiss. Run your tongue over your lips once before you kiss. Don’t wear lip gloss because that tends to make the kiss too gooey.

And don’t wear a lot of lipstick unless you want your partner to wear it too after the kiss. Slightly moist lips makes it easier to move your lips over your partner’s and gives both you and your partner a more pleasant experience.
Positioning - Stand close to your partner. As the two of you move closer together tilt your head slightly. If you can see which way your partner’s head is tilting, tilt your head slightly in the opposite direction.

Close Eyes - Just before your lips meet, close your eyes. Some people prefer to leave their eyes open during the kiss. But until you know what your partner prefers, it is best to close your eyes.

Open Lips - Open your mouth slightly and place your lips over your partner’s lips. Do not hold your breath! Breath through your nose. As your lips meet, press them gently over your partner’s. You may wish to move your lips in a slow, circular motion or just leave them still over your partners.

Closed Lips - This is like the type of kiss you’d give your grandma or aunt. Instead of opening your mouth when your lips meet, keep them closed. This is also a good way of letting your partner know this is as far as it goes. It also makes a great hello/good-bye kiss or a great first time kiss if you’re nervous.

Last year for Valentine’s Day, we were short on cash, so I didn’t really expect anything. While I went to the store, my boyfriend hopped on the roof with two sets of lights (1 red, 1 white - 5$ Wal-mart) and laid them on the roof in the shape of two hearts that interlocked. He had just plugged them in and was making final adjustments when I came around the corner. It was so beautiful to see two beating hearts over our home!! We sat on the sidewalk and ate Jack-in-the-Box burgers! Now, not only me, but the entire neighborhood saw he really loves me!

I wish I could wipe
your falling tears away,

as you bravely smile through your pain…
You see me suffer,

then you break down and cry
miles apart…

In your dreams
I softly kiss you,

no one can see the pain,
that we both feel inside

miles apart…
You whisper I love you

and I whisper to the skies,
I love you too

When will this pain ever go away
even though we are

miles apart…
To be by your side

is a dream I can’t deny
But I will wish for it to come true.

I miss you so badly
my heart is breaking

as we cry
miles apart…

My boyfriend and I maintain a long distance love affair, to keep things in the right tone until we will see each other again, we will each take turns leaving sweet or funny messages on each other’s answering machine for when we get in from work or whatever. I can’t tell you how much it has meant to me to come in from a hard day’s work to hear his loving voice on tape saying that he loves me and misses me and is thinking about me. He says it has done wonders for his morale too. Even after our upcoming wedding we will continue to leave messages for each other, it is so important to let your loved ones know how much they mean to you each and every day.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for more than two years. About two months ago he decided to move to another country because of a better job opportunity. This was very much unexpected for me. I knew that he wasn’t very happy with his job here, but he didn’t really try to find anything else closer to home. Instead he moved away when an easy opportunity came up. He also knew that I hated the city he was going to live in. Now I am really confused, and don’t know what is going to happen, since he doesn’t know how long he is going to stay there. I miss him terribly, and though he always said that he is very happy with me and the only reason he is moving is because of his career, I feel that he should have done more for us to stay together. Of course, I am very supportive of his dreams and professional progress, but I always believed that we can do that together, by each other’s side. I don’t understand why he didn’t try harder to find something here, and be with me at the same time. As things stand, I have started to think about moving there as well, though there are not many jobs that I’d like to do there. Should I be the one to make the sacrifices when he is clearly not ready to make any? Is it right to move if I can’t be sure about his feelings after I saw how he put our relationship in a second place?