22nd November 2008

Everynight

Every night i pray for you
Hoping that you will see
That it is what you do
Thats driving me so crazy

I dont know what to do
when things come to you
I wish that there can be
Specifically only you and me

Your still in love with that girl
the one who destroyed your world
She took you heart and tore it apart

What more do u want from her
This is ridiculous its one big blur

What is it about me
That you just cannot see’
I am who you are looking for
The one you will learn to adore

posted in Love Poems | 0 Comments

22nd November 2008

Too Much

Escaping reality
Slipping off the edge
Convincing myself to stay
While thinking of the razor in my handI look around at the people who I call my friends
None of them understand
Part of me wants to do it
Part of me wants to stay
So do I stay to keep them happy?
Or do I go to please myself?

Nothing I do makes sense anymore
Sitting here
Lost yet found
Lonely yet surrounded by crowds
Completely empty with only pain to fill inside
Each woeful thought making a new scar on my already cut body

Looking back at photos
Looking back on a smile
They think it helps to remember these times
But if only they knew that pathetic is all I feel

Everyone asking why
But not listening when I tell them
Telling me to talk about my feelings
But having none to tell
Cause I don’t know why I feel like cr*p
Yet everybody refuses to accept this

And the more they hound me
The more I just want to do it
Say goodbye
To pain
To non acceptance
To criticism
To life

Is this is what they tell me to stay for?
Is this is what it’s gonna be?
They tell me that it’s not always gonna be like this
But when will it change?
Sick of hearing about soon
And nothing about now

Everyone telling me what’s right
But not bothering to ask what I think
They keep shoving thoughts in my head
That I don’t want to think

So just stop trying to make it better
Stop trying to make me smile
Stop guarding me like a prisoner
And Let me be myself
Just for a little while
Being praised to use an act
Yet punished to be real
I focus on the pain
Cause it’s the way I truly feel

Your Ad Here

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22nd November 2008

You’ll Never Know

You’ll never know the way I feel
Or why I do the things I do
You’ll never know the dreams I dream
The dreams I dream of youYou’ll never know just quite how much
Your smile makes me melt
You’ll never know the feelings
That deep inside I’ve felt
You’ll never know the prayers I’ve prayed
To the stars in the cold night air
You’ll never know my love for you
My secret love affair

>

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22nd November 2008

“Hey, I do really love yo

I’ve been in love with my
Friend for how many years now.
He doesn’t even seem to feel that
I’ve been longing for his love.

He was so dear to me,
Not knowing that I’m falling deeper inside.
How I wish I could tell him
That I do really like him.

Every time he lies on my lap,
I couldn’t help my self,
I just stare at his sweet face
And gaze on his red lips (sigh).

How could this man stole my heart
Just by smiling at me?
How I wish I could tell him
That I really do like him.

He seems so near,
Yet so far.
Near in my heart and mind,
Yet so far to be my love.

I want him to be at my side
Now and forever.
How I wish I could tell him
That I really do like him.

I am losing hope
But I know, someday,
He’ll gonna realize
That I’m always here for him.

For my love will never change,
And someday,
I hope I could tell him
That “hey, I do really love you!”

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22nd November 2008

A lonely man

How sad
How lonely I saw a man
He’s soul wonderin
Looking for love that’s all he want
He had none color on he’s eyes he was so
Empty inside
Sadness live in he’s mind
How lonely I saw a man
Maybe someday
True love he will fine
Now that he’s lonely
And empty inside’

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22nd November 2008

The pain I feel

The pain I feel because that you have done. It hurts so much that I can’t think about anything else. It is always there whether your are or not. The anger I have doesn’t compare to my love, but I can’t overcome the way I feel at this moment.What should I do, should I stay and face my fears or leave and be ashamed of what I have become? All I know is these wounds can’t be healed.

posted in Love Poems | 0 Comments

22nd November 2008

I’m Confused…

I’m 16 in April, and as of March 2nd I will have been dating my boyfriend for one year. He’s going to be 21 in June. This does mean he is legally an adult and can go to bars and such. He goes to the bar way too much. And ever since I said I wouldn’t mind it if he went to the stripper’s every once in a while he’s been going quite often. I have a huge problem with this because I hate the thought of him going somewhere and paying money to see other girls naked when he could see one (me) at home for free! I practically live with him on the account that I babysit for his sister a lot, but I am not always there. When I come back to his place after a while I see his porn out by his bedside and his porno dvd in the player. Seeing this and knowing he’s going to the stripper’s to pay money to watch other women shaking their *sses and dancing on poles makes me feel like I can’t quite please him well enough, explaining all the porn and strippers. Am I wrong to be worrying about this? Should I not think this? Should I just lay off and trust him?

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22nd November 2008

What should I do???

I had my gf ova at my house 2day and she started saying my house and kitchen is all wrong and not very well done and saying it’s a council house, she always starts arguments and fites wit me like punchin me, I feel like a boxers bag.But she argues and accuses me of thing which arn’t true, she goes on at me so much that I just wana run off and leave her to sort her own sh*t out, but I dont, I really like her and I always end up crawling back after an argument asking for a chance and that I’m sorry, when I realise I shouldn’t be the one sayin sorry, as it isn’t actually my fault, but I do it any way in the hope she will still be wit me, I really like this girl and at times she likes me 2, she just neva shows it in public, only eva hugs me or nefin wen were alone, if peps r there, even if we dnt know them, she wnt even hold my hand. wat shud I do I really like her and dnt wana lose her but shes gone off in a mood 2 day cause I punched the wall and threw my fone on the floor and she threw it at the wall and broke it. wat shud I do, any suggestions?????
plz gimme a hand here I do not know if I should move on or what?
thankz

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22nd November 2008

I Wish You Understood

So here’s the real story,
Not a fairy tale from a far away land.
Of a girl that loves a boy,
And he’ll never understand.
She’s told him her feelings,
She made it clear.
She told him that she loved him,
Although telling him was her biggest fear.

He didn’t say much,
But he acted like her friend.
He never understood
That she wanted him till the end.

It hurts her to see him,
To not hold him or kiss.
She always wondered,
If he was there, would her life be bliss?

So he never acted on her feelings,
And never understood.
He didn’t know why she killed herself,
But to her grave, she always would.

posted in Love Poems | 0 Comments

22nd November 2008

Late at Night

Why is it so hard to say good-bye?
Why do I stay up all night and cry?
I stay up late thinking of my baby,
Hoping that we might be together someday, maybe.
I stay up late thinking of what we once had;
I stay up late thinking of you and it makes me so sad.
I often think of why we went wrong;
I stay up late listening to my slowjams and our favorite song.
I think of how I want you to hold me tight and never let go;
I love you so much and I want you to know,
that I’m going to miss you and the love that we shared.
I can’t believe it’s over, baby I’m so scared.
I stay up late thinking of the day when we first met,
and how with you my love I have not one regret.
I think of how we’ve been together through the laughter and tears,
and how I wish we were together for many many years.
I think of how I’m not ready to let go, but someday I will.
I stay up late thinking of how years from now I’ll be loving you still!!

dedicated to my love jose mendez
I love you and I miss you!!

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22nd November 2008

Around A Mall At Night

(Now this story is magically differerent. I don’t know if you’ll like it since its unrealistic, but who knows once in a blue moon. Enjoy! Two friends, were on a date; walking towards a mall at around nine p.m. These two friends were Jerr and Nyca…Jerr and Nyca were both blaming each other for what happened: “If you had taken that turn we would have come here sooner! Look! This mall is closing!!” Nyca was having a really hard time walking with her four-inch heels. “Well, it’s because of you! You talk while I drive! So I’m distracted with the right way and your irritating voice!” Jerr was also getting tired by waiting for her to catch up and then walk ahead of her again.
“Aha! And so it’s my fault?!”
“Yes! Yours!”
“Hay naku!” (A frustrated expression in filipino)
“Hay naku rin!” (Ditto)
Nyca was worried that her pink dress outfit would get flustered from all the walking. It had flowers on it, and she even had a feathery scarf around her neck. Jerr was just wearing a brown checkered polo and black slacks. He looked at her and said: “We will NEVER go to the parlor before a date, again!”
“I just wanted my hair to be curly this evening. What’s wrong with that? Nobody’s gonna look at you anyway!”
“How do you know?”
“You said it yourself just a second ago! There are no more people in the mall!”
“Don’t you shout at me Jerr Adams! Or I’ll tell all our friends you molested me in the movies.”
“Yeah like that’ll happen.”
“Humph!”
Just as they walked in at the entrance of the mall they finally stopped fighting, because they couldn’t say a word. For what they were paying attention to were lights going off, and stores closing…
Then Jerr said:
“Okay, let’s just both take a deep breath, (hum, ahh!) relax and go on this normal date we planned.” Nyca looked at him with a face of disbelief.
The two walk medium-apart from each other. Like they were only brothers and sisters. As they walked, they noticed they were going along a line of simultaneously closing stores, one after the other after the other.
“Hay. (Nyca stops walking) What are we going to do now?”
“To find a place to eat what else?”
“Well where, all the stores are closing.”
Jerr also stops walking. “Hey, ‘he gives out his hand for her to come with him, saying’ we’ll find one, don’t’ worry…”
Nyca doubted, but she still followed him. She walked ahead of him, (taking his hand.) Jerr just smiles, and shrugs his shoulders.
They go down, (down, down) the stairs, (the escalators had been shut down already.) And they see at the bottom floor a white-lighted little corner; a restaurant was still open. Jerr and Nyca were surprised to see “The Restaurant in the Wall.” They didn’t think one could still be open. “Ang galing meron pa nga, pano mo nalaman to?” Said Nyca. (Even though Jerr was just as surprised as she was.) “Ahh, sabi ko na nga ba e. Galing ko talaga.” Nyca rolls her eyes. “…”
They went p*ss the tables and chairs, which they kept on bumping into (“U!” “Ow!”) until they reached the place.
The place smelled nice, the smell of food that was spicy and hot but strangely European!
There was a French-looking man at the counter, probably the chef and everyone else.
“Ello.” The cheerful man said.
“Hello.” The wide-eyed couple answered.
The two had never before seen a guy like this in real life. It was like he was from a movie! He was tall, fat at the lower portion, his moustache seemed to come from his nose, and they raised up to his ears like they had gel or something. He had a chef’s hat on, and a chef’s outfit. And his eyes were slanted expressing a weird delight.
“What would you like ‘said the chef’ that is the menu.” He pointed upwards.
The menu dangled from lines, thin ropes made of black wire.
“Ei, the food looks cheap.” Said Jerr.
“Yes they are.” Answered the chef.
“Why do you want to save money on me?”
Jerr actually thought of considering the idea.
“Ummmm.”
Then the chef spoke, “Mind me, but a lady on a date has the right to be served right. Remember that.”
(Both Jerr and Nyca were surprised, the statue they saw a mile away had a soul.) Nyca liked what he said. “I will, thank you.” Said Nyca.
Jerr got a little bit embarr*ssed and said. “Okaaay…We’ll be having two specials. Can’t pronounce it, so I’ll just say two specials. (He pointed which one.) I think it has a subtitle saying, tartar and meat sauce.” (He squinted to see the tiny letters.)
“Tartar and meat sauce? What’s that?”
“I don’t know but they look expensive. Isn’t that what you want?”
“Very well.” Said the chef. And off he went to the back to prepare.
“God knows what he’s doing there with the meal.” Jerr thought.
“This place is great isn’t it?”
Jerr and Nyca already sat by the counter earlier. Nyca circled on her stool looking around herself. The place looked like a subway diner, it had white tiles, and a clear stainless counter. With yellow lamps hanging about.
“Isn’t that right Jerr?”
Jerr almost got caught leaning on the counter with one arm, and his chin on his hand staring at her.
“Uh, yes,”
“?..”
“But the guy is weird.”
“Huh? That’s not true. What do you mean?”
“He seems, too friendly.
“Well, maybe he’s just lonely, ever thought of that?”
“Why?”
“Well, maybe because he’s all alone!”
“You think so?” Said Jerr sarcastically.
“Uhum!” Said Nyca with full confidence.
The chef had returned and the food was ready. And he placed the food before them.
“Good thing he didn’t do a dance and toss it in the air.” Whispered Jerr to Nyca. Nyca elbows him. Nyca smiled at the chef afraid he might’ve heard. But he didn’t, and so while eating, Nyca talked to him just to make sure.
After awhile…
“Really?” Nyca asked.
“Yes, I have lived here my whole life, and yet my accent is French notice?”
“(Can that really happen? HARD to believe!!!)” Jer thought.
“Hehe, very much!” Said Nyca copying his accent.
Finally Jerr looked at Nyca signing her for them to leave.
:Uhm, me and my friend have to go. The food was great-PABLO.”
“(Pablo? Isn’t that Spanish?)”
“Oh-kay, Olevou!… Oh! But wait!”
“The two stopped and looked back as if they for got something.
“You say you two are friends only? But I thought you were-.”
“Together? No, not yet.”
Nyca pinches Jerr at the side.
“Ow.”
And Pablo smiled, nodded and waved goodbye.
“Have a pleasant evening for the rest of the night!”
Jerr and Nyca turned around and went their way.
Jerr whispered, “I told you he was weird.”
“Ok, you win.”
As they moved farther from the white-lighted little resto, it’s light turned off, and another light turned on. It came from above and it illuminated a spiral staircase. Jerr and Nyca didn’t know if this was the way they came down before but they went up anyway.
Nyca appreciated the little but very sweet accomplishment he had done for the date, she thought that in the beginning it would be a total disaster. But he managed to make it. Make it “charmingly acceptable.” (Now that’s a compliment for your boyfriend).
“That was nice.” Thanks Jerr.”
“You’re welcome…where do you wanna go now?”
“Let’s look for some more places to go to.”
“Okay.”
And the two went.
But they go (and go and go). They couldn’t find one that was still open. It was already dim now, and while the usual lights of the mall were turned off, the nice yellow dim lights had been turned on.
“So this is what this place looks like when it’s closing.” Said Jerr.
There was scarcely any person left. They could run around like crazy without being seen by anybody.
After a long time of searching, Jerr scratched the back of his head and said, “I don’t think that there is still one that’s-“
But Nyca cut him off again from finishing his sentence. For she saw another “one” like the one before. A lighted little shop… “Wait, look.”
The two approached the little red shop. It was glowing red, like it had an aura. The counter lady, who was standing behind the counter, could be seen at the entrance. She bowed to them as they entered. The counter-lady was Chinese, as all the other things in the little shop were. The shops had Chinese items that were antiques, made of wood, gold, and jade, almost everything else was in red or in red-silk. There were figures of animals from the Chinese Zodiac and cunning little items that could be used at home or in a bedroom.
Then Nyca saw something that really caught her attention; that took her eyes from the others. While Jerr was busy looking at something else, Nyca saw a music box, a beautifully decorated piece that reminded her of something from her childhood. (For Nyca herself was half-Chinese). The music box was made of old wood, it looked like it had been handed down from generation to generation, and it had golden tracings of nightingales, on a tree singing. It had a crescent moon and a well-painted mountain in the background as well.
When Nyca opened it, it played the sweetest lullaby melody that she had ever heard. “Like a love story that had gone amiss” Nyca thought. “How sad” she said as she closed the music box. (It touched her so deeply that she simple wanted it.)
Nyca took the music box and showed it to Jerr who was glancing at an artistic nude painting of Chinese girls. She looked at him with puppy eyes. Jerr rolled his eyes and took out his wallet. Just as they were at the counter to purchase the thing, Jerr asked, “Miss how much is this music box?”
The Chinese lady didn’t answer his question, or at least he thought she didn’t, for the lady spoke to them in Chinese. Saying something about, “the music box being a magical music box, making the two people, lovers, for a brief minute and dancing to its seductive tune. If the music box was to be kept safe while playing, then the two will be together forever. But if not…’ she looked at them with a warning ‘the music box was to be destroyed before the dance was over, so will they…”
The two didn’t know why but they understood her as she spoke. It was the weirdest thing for them. It was like knowing a different language, but not knowing how to speak it… The lady also included that it was free. That part was English. (“FH-RREE!”)
As the two went out the store, the Chinese lady yelled, “Wait!” The two looked back. The Chinese lady looked at them, as if she knew something special about them and just smiled.
“No, it’s nothing. Have a pleasant evening for the rest of the night.” At that the Chinese lady disappeared and the shops light went off.
The two looked at each other.
“That was weirder.” Jerr said.
“Totally.” Replied Nyca.
The two then flopped on a nearby bench. Luckily they found one, in the middle of nowhere.
Jerr leaned back with his arms on top of the bench and looked around to see if there were still any people. Nyca leaned forward looking on the ground with one of her hands in her hair, while the other under her tummy.
“This date wasn’t so bad.” Said Jerr.
(Nyca gets up) “No it wasn’t.”
“…But it’s still not complete.”
“?”
After a few minutes, Nyca was standing in the middle of the spacious fourth floor of the mall, looking around to see if anyone was looking.
“Jerr-”
“Don’t worry, nobody’s gonna see.”
Jerr put the music box down at a distance and opened it. It played… Jerr excitedly goes to Nyca, but when he puts his hands around her waist he gulps because he’s nervous. Nyca puts her arms around her neck…and when the two were ready, “they swayed…”
Side to side, left to right. Jerr who thought he knew everything, didn’t really know how to dance. But Nyca who was a total klutz to Jerr guided him. As soon as he got it, he felt good about himself.
“Good, you got it.” Said Nyca.
“Hehe, thanks to you.”
Nyca lays her head on him. And closes her eyes.
Jerr thought of asking her a question. “…Did you really have a good time this evening? This night?”
“Uhum…” Was her whole answer.
“That’s nice.”
“Did you?”
“Yeah.”
“…I wonder, what our friends will say when we tell them that we actually had a good time?”
“They probably won’t believe us. That’s how they are.”
“That’s how we are, in the start we fight, but in the end we’re okay. Our fighting is the only thing they see in us I guess..” Nyca turns her head to the other side. “Sigh, just ignore them.”
“…I’m don’t feel forced to fullfil this dare thing anyway. I mean this date. Our date.”
Nyca looked at him. “I know,’ she said, ‘I feel the same as well.” She lays her head on him again.
“Nyca?”
“Uhm?” (It was like she was about to fall asleep.)
“Would you like to-?”
(Nyca wakes up) “Be what?” Nyca asked wondering.
“Be…you know.”
“?”
(Jerr was now getting sweaty..) We get along, and well, I was just wondering…”
“Yes?”
“…I like you, and I’m guessing from right now that you like-”
“Yes?!”
“Nyca, will you be my girl-“
“Scuze me? But you’re not allowed to be here anymore. We’re closed.” It was a security guard.
The two quickly let each other go. They were startled and embarr*ssed for them to be seen.
“What are you two still doing here?” The security guard walked forward…
J+N: “Wait!!!”
“CCRRRUUSSSH!” It was too late the music box was stepped on and destroyed by the security guard…forever. Nyca and Jerr look at each other…
The two walk out of the mall, medium-apart from each other. Like they were only brothers and sisters. They believed in the Chinese lady, they believed in the old-chef Pablo, they believed in this whole night for only a moment, and in that moment their belief was gone…
(As the two get inside the car) “I KNEW libis would be better!!!” Said Nyca.
Jerr: “Haaayyy…”
THE eND

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22nd November 2008

A Lover’s Heart

Why does my heart forsake me, and yearn for what can’t be,
I’ve made my feelings known to them, and yet they cannot see.
I’d give to them my heart and soul, my love would keep us warm,
But still they look the other way, and then I’m left to face the storm.Then just when tears start flowing, and my mind can’t understand,
My son is there to help me, as he gently takes my hand.
‘Mom, please don’t feel so lonely, and just let your heart be free,
Cause if you weren’t my mommy, then you could marry me.”

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22nd November 2008

One mans love

There is a 100 years of history and a 100 for that all gathered in the thinking going on beneath his hat. The cold flame burns within him until his skins as cold as ice but the dues he paid to get here are worth every sacrifice.All the miles spent sleepy driving all the money down the drain all the if is and near leys, all the bandages and pain. All the female tears left dry and all the fever in the fight are just a small down payment on the life he made right. Its guts, love and glory one mortal’s chance at fame his legacy lives for ever and Daddy is his name.

posted in Love Poems, Love Stories | 0 Comments

22nd November 2008

Happiness

Every morning when i wake up,
a smile crosses my face
because i’m happy once again,
my life has found its base.

every time i see that bright smile,
or hear your voice, the music to my ears,
i know im happy once again,
no longer shall i shed tears

every second of every day
my mind wanders to you
and i feel a warmth inside,
like i never used to do

no longer do i dread waking up
and living the days one at a time
because once again in life
there is a happiness that is mine

that happiness is your presence,
in my mind and in my heart,
knowing that wherever i am
i know that is where you are

whether in physical form
or just inside my chest
it really doesnt matter
because the pain can take a rest

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22nd November 2008

All My Love is Gone

With all my love gone my life is fading, I see you.
When you come up to me I can only think of us.
Wondering how you feel about me.
I wonder if you feel the same as I do about you.
All my love has gone to you, the one I love is you.
My life is changeing with you in it.
All my love is for you to keep safe in your heart.
I have given my heart away and Im will never fully get it back.

posted in Love Poems | 0 Comments

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